An Acquired Taste
by cabbagepatchbliss
Summary: Dan and Blair spend the summer together in Virginia. Craziness ensues. Dair multi-chapter fic.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: This fic takes place several months into the future, right before summer break. The baby was lost in the accident and the rest of the fallout you should be able to pick up on as the story progresses. As you'll see in the first scene, Blair is in (much needed, imo) therapy. **

**(P.S. I'm from Virginia, so any jabs that may follow are all in good fun :) )**

* * *

><p><strong>Prologue<strong>

"V-virginia?" Blair stuttered. "As in that old, dusty state?"

Charlotte shifted on the couch across from her, watching Blair with a familiar, knowing look. "I know this sounds crazy-"

"_Sounds_ crazy_?_" Blair exclaimed. "I think me being in Virginia for any longer than it takes to be chauffeured through it is _objectively_ crazy."

Charlotte's lips slipped into an amused smile now as she opened her notebook. "I have a colleague there…."

"Well, he certainly can't be any good if he's exiled in _Virginia._"

"And, he's extremely qualified," Charlotte continued patiently, "And, his retreat center is located in a beautiful area-"

"In _Virginia_."

"He's received some of the best reviews from his patients-"

"Patients with poor enough taste to reside in Virginia."

Charlotte sighed. She peered at Blair over her reading glasses for a few silent moments and then spoke again. "Blair," she said in a soft voice, "We've made a lot of progress over the last few weeks…"

"Well, of course. I'm a quick learner."

"Of course," Charlotte said with another small smile. "But, I think it might be time to take things to another level. You are a person with the resources to consider taking the summer off, to really take time away from everything and really…really reflect."

Blair could barely restrain her eye roll. Charlotte was constantly saying cliché phrases like 'reflect' and 'me-time' and 'look in the mirror'. If it weren't for how utterly helpful she was, Blair would have stopped seeing her after the first week.

But, the sessions had been helpful**.** And, as much as Blair hated to admit it, the idea of spending a few months somewhere distant and uncluttered by paparazzi, Gossip Girl, and the likes of Chuck Bass, did have a ring to it.

But, Virginia?

"Ugh," was all Blair could get out in response.

"It won't be so bad. You might even enjoy it."

Blair's brows shot up. "Enjoy isolation and constant psychoanalyzing in Virginia?" She snorted. "Excuse me if I'm doubtful."

Charlotte nodded, but then offered a slight shrug. "There's no requirement for you go alone, if you don't want to. You could always bring a friend. Someone you trust. …Like Dan, for instance."

"Humphrey?" Blair out right laughed and Charlotte watched her with a curious expression. "You're kidding me, right?"

"Well, you do you speak of him often."

"Pfft. He's a constant nuisance; how could I not?"

"And, correct me if I'm wrong, but he was the one who recommended you to consider therapy?"

Blair flipped the hair off her shoulder, dismissive. "He recommends a lot of things. It's only by my own selective listening and discernment that I ever deduce anything halfway useful."

"And with the tensions between you and Serena, I just naturally assumed he'd be the one—"

"Wait a second," Blair said, cutting Charlotte off as per usual, "Are you actually even somewhat insinuating that Humphrey is…like my best friend or something?"

Charlotte chuckled, but not in a mean way. "Blair, I'm not insinuating anything. I was just offering a suggestion."

Blair nodded, but her arms were still folded stiffly across her chest as Charlotte scribbled some more information onto a business card. When she finished, she leaned over and handed the card to Blair, who slowly and begrudgingly accepted.

"Whoever you do or don't decide to take, I think this will really be good for you, Blair. A chance to start over. To really…"

"…heal," Blair finished. "I know.

She slipped the card into her purse and then stood with a heavy sigh.

* * *

><p>Blair stepped out of her therapist's office and onto the street and there he was. Standing there. With this stupid, kind, brown-eyed gaze as he held out a cup of coffee.<p>

She was only mildly surprised. They had been browsing bookstores together before her session. (He often seemed to invite her out on the days of her appointments in a move that she strongly suspected was intended to make sure she didn't ditch. And sometimes, depending on the current state of his social life, he'd hang around and meet back up with her after).

Today he'd apparently decided to grab coffee from her favorite shop. Which was sweet and therefore annoying. So Blair paid careful attention to ignore his eyes as she stole the cup from him without a word.

"Um, you're welcome?" he said.

"I didn't say 'thank you'."

"Yeah, I kind of noticed that."

"Good. So then why are we having this conversation?"

She arched a brow at him and his faced pinched with annoyance. But he lifted his hand into the air anyway, hailing her a taxi.

She gave a little "hmmph", which she assumed Dan would know by now was as close to a 'thank you' as he was ever going to get.

"How'd it go?"

"Swimmingly," she sung.

"Blair."

She huffed, shifting her designer bag on her shoulder and fidgeting. Usually, she didn't mind Dan's incessant questions about her sessions, and although she'd always make him work for it, she'd generally be forthright. But, Charlotte's words about Dan and their relationship still had her somewhat unsettled. She wasn't even exactly sure why they bothered her, but they did.

So she averted his gaze and grumbled, "Haven't you ever heard of privacy, Humphrey?"

He snorted. "This from the woman who redecorated my entire living room the other day while I was out."

"Speaking of someone who ought to say 'thank you.'"

Dan's face was the picture of indignation as Blair's cab pulled up. He opened the door for her, like she knew he would, and she offered another 'hmppf' before getting in. She slipped on her seat belt, gave the driver directions, and when the door still hadn't closed she glanced up at him, curious.

Ugh, he still had that stupid kind look on his face.

"Thank you for going, Blair," he whispered.

She felt that familiar prick of _something_ that she always felt when he was being annoyingly sweet and her reaction was instinctual. She pulled at the door, almost catching his fingers, as she shut it.

She could literally hear his scoff through the window, could literally feel his gaze following her until the cab turned the corner.

* * *

><p>When she returned to her apartment, the first thing she did was shove some pictures of her and Dan (which had just sort of accidentally amassed themselves on her desk) into a drawer.<p>

"This is not happening," she commanded to herself, "This is not happening."

Her eyes flickered to a post-it note she'd left herself on the mirror-" Humphrey at the Met—6pm"—and she frowned.

"Oh, god this _is_ happening. Gross."

It's not like their friendship was a secret. Maybe before Louis and the baby and the accident; maybe before he was there to help pick up the billion pieces her life had shattered into; maybe before all that, she would have denied their friendship. But they were past that.

It was the fact that apparently, somewhere along the way, they'd moved to beyond just friends, to—she couldn't believe she was even willing to admit this-_best friends_ that creeped her out.

It may have been irrational, but if Blair liked anything, they were boundaries and distance, and—

"Just ugh," she groaned before plucking the post-it off the mirror and tossing it in the trash.

She was going to Virginia with Serena. That was that.

"_Miss Blair, you have company,_" Dorota called.

Blair stiffened. Her 'spidey senses' went off and she muttered under her breath, "_F-ing Humphrey_."

Dorota opened her door a few moments later. "It's Mister D-"

"I know it's him," Blair said, "Tell him I 'm dead."

Dorota's eyes bugged.

"Or sick, what_ever._ Just make him go away."

"Not gonna happen," Dan said, slipping into the room past Dorota.

Blair huffed and Dorota offered a few wary glances before leaving them alone.

"What is going on with you?" Dan asked when the door shut.

"What is going on with _you?_ Can't you take a hint and be gone?"

She made shooing motions with her hands and Dan rolled his eyes before smacking them down.

"Did something happen in therapy today?" he asked.

Blair squinted. What, was he psychic or something? She pursed her lips and shook her head. "Nothing of importance. So now that we have that covered, you can _shoo, shoo."_

She tried to push him out of her room, but Dan answered with surprising nimbleness and slipped out of her reach.

"You are seriously whacked."

"Of course I am. That's why I'm in therapy."

He frowned. "That's not how I meant it and you know it."

"Right, whatever, we can film the P.C. afterschool special later—but seriously, go."

This time she got him all the way to her door, before he spun around again. All the humor was gone from his face now and his shoulders were squared. "Blair, look, if you want to be bitchy, fine by me—heck, it suits you…"

She scrunched her nose, not sure whether to be insulted or flattered.

"…but you don't get to shut me out. Not until I know you're okay."

She sighed, her eyes softening just slightly, because it was hard to pretend to be agitated by him when he was being this nice. She settled for medium bitchy. "Don't you think you're being a little over dramatic? "

"Don't you think you're being a little under dramatic?" His voice lowered slightly. "You've been through a lot this past year."

"Gee, thanks for reminding me. Oh, wait, that's right, I was there."

Dan sent her a chastising look, which she ignored, and took another step toward her. He was starting to invade her personal space and she straightened. "Blair," he whispered.

She set arms across her chest, protecting herself from his gaze and his voice, but she relented. "I'm fine," she said, sincerely.

His eyes flickered with relief and suddenly she saw how tired they were, worn out from worry and doubt, and a stab of guilt started in her chest. Her right hand reached down and tugged at the cuff of his sleeve.

"I'm fine," she said again.

He sighed and another wave a tension seemed to leave his face.

"It's just, I need some time to process everything-"

"_Blair_?"

Blair's eyes darted from his and across the room where Serena was now standing. Blair's hand instantly flew from his, like she'd been caught. Which was silly, she knew that. But she couldn't stop the pink tinge from painting her cheeks.

"Serena, hey," she chirped, trying to sound casual.

"Hey," Dan offered beside her.

Blair watched Serena's eyes scan back and forth between them before she asked, "Everything okay?"

"Yeah," Blair said instantly, "Humphrey was just badgering me as usual."

Blair offered another sweet (hopefully casual) smile until Serena finally nodded, the wrinkles leaving her brow.

"Oh…um okay," Serena said. "Well, I hate to interrupt Bickerfest 2000…."

Dan and Blair rolled their eyes.

"But, I was thinking you, me, catching up with some retail therapy? What do you say?"

Blair smiled for real this time, because as busy as she and Serena had been lately, they hadn't had a lot of time to hangout. Plus, there was a pair (or six) of shoes she'd been eying.

"That sounds great."

Blair glanced at Dan, and still feeling a tinge of self-consciousness about how Serena had found them, decided to be a little frostier than usual. "Peasant Boy, I'm sure you can find your way out."

Dan simply rolled his eyes and left. She hoped, as always, that he could read between the lines.

* * *

><p>"I've been seeing a shrink," Blair murmured as Serena passed her a pair of heels.<p>

Serena's eyes widened and Blair wondered what was weirder: The fact that now, of all times, she had decided to divulge this information; or the fact that it had taken her a full month to do so.

"Oh…wow," Serena finally said.

"Yeah."

After a moment, Serena offered a shrug. "Well, hey, B, I think that's great. It takes strength to seek help. And…" she gave a rueful smile, "You know, I, of all people, won't judge."

Blair's mouth curved slightly. One of the benefits of having a dysfunctional friend was the commiseration.

"Is it helping?" Serena asked.

"Yeah," Blair said after a moment. Then she nodded, feeling more confident in this assessment, "It has helped. I mean, obviously life isn't all sunshine and rainbows or anything but,…it's been good. I've been getting some more sleep."

Serena reached over and stroked her back, smiling. "That's really good, B."

"Well it was good. Until she went nutso and decided I should spend my summer in Virginia."

"Virginia?"

Serena could barely keep the laughter out of her voice.

"Tell me about it," Blair mumbled, "There's some Promises-knock off retreat center there and she thinks it will be 'good for my soul.'"

They both laughed now as Blair slipped on another pair of shoes. When she glanced back up, Serena was sending her a strange look.

"What the hell?" she asked, "Why not? It might be good to get away and try something different. I guarantee there won't be paparazzi there."

"Yeah, or civilization."

They giggled for a few more minutes, making random jokes about confederacies and dirt roads, and when they were done, the invitation felt as natural as it ever would.

"Wanna come with?"

Serena squinted. "To where? Saks?"

"No. But, uh yeah, that, too." Blair rolled her eyes at herself. "I meant to the retreat center this summer. You know to keep me company, maybe hook up with some hot farmers?"

Serena's face fell and when she shook her head, Blair was far too familiar with the sting of disappointment.

"Blair, I 'm so sorry. I would love to go, but I'm looking into this internship with—"

"Hey, don't sweat it. It's okay, I understand."

And, that sad part was that she really did.

* * *

><p>She arrived at Humphrey's a few hours later. Way past the time that they'd been scheduled to go the Met, and without any notice, but that didn't stop her from marching through the door the moment he got out a "Oh-hey."<p>

Dan stood at the door for a moment, blinked, and then finally turned to face her. "Please," he said sarcastically, "Come in."

"I'll try to make myself at home," she mumbled, before plopping onto his couch.

He sighed and walked back over to his desk, where he'd apparently been working. Then he turned back to this laptop, like it was the most natural thing ever to have her there, and began typing.

Blair's face scrunched as she perused his apartment, saw the candles and throw pillows, smelled the potpourri and Febreeze, and realized just _how _natural it really was for to be sitting there.

"What's on your mind?" Dan said after a few minutes passed.

"Besides how incredibly tacky your furniture is?" She sighed. "Virginia."

"Virginia." Dan chuckled. "Okkkay."

Blair tried to laugh with him, but it didn't feel as funny as it had earlier. She straightened and turned further toward him on the couch. "Well, I hear it's a lovely place to vacation this time of year."

Dan snorted. "Right. I'll be sure to drop by right after I finish my tour of Cleveland."

Blair's face pinched.

"Well…it's not like you have any other plans, right? I mean, besides from writing trite novellas?"

Dan froze. Then turned from his laptop and to look at her. "What? You want me to be so far away from you this summer that you're just pulling states out of a hat for me to visit?"

Blair rolled her eyes. This was obviously going to be more difficult than she'd imagined. She couldn't ask him, not directly. But, he didn't seem to be picking up on any of her hints, let alone seem remotely interested in the idea of a summer in Virginia. (Not that she could really blame him).

"Not quite," she finally muttered, "I myself plan to be traveling almost the entirety of the break."

The chair legs screeched, and she could see his face creasing as he turned fully towards her now.

"You're leaving?" He asked. "For the whole break?"

"Doctor's orders," she said with a wry smirk. "She wants me to visit a retreat center in the boondocks."

She looked at him as he looked back and it was quiet for a minute or so.

"That's great," he finally said. "I mean, it will be good for you."

"Yeah," she mumbled. "Something like that."

She started playing with her fingers, like she was five or something.

"I would think it might be a little lonely though," Dan said.

She looked back up and said evenly, "I'd considered that."

Dan seemed to scan her yes, for a trace of…something. Then he grunted a little, his shoulders tensing. There was an edge to his voice when he spoke. "But, then again, I guess why worry? They'll probably still be plenty of lifeguards or cowboys or whatever to keep you occupied."

"Excuse me?" Blair bristled, eyes slamming back to his as she processed what he'd said. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Dan rolled his eyes, his gaze still dark. "Like you haven't thought about it. "

Blair huffed, her cheeks reddening.

Sure, she and Serena had partaken in their fair share of flings over summer breaks, but not an imprudent amount, _thank you very much_. And, even more, there was something about hearing _Dan_ point it out and his voice when he'd said it—it bothered her to no end.

She sent him a cold glare before grabbing her purse and standing.

"Hey," Dan said, "Where are you going?"

"To pack. Obviously. I'll see you in the fall."

"Blair," Dan said.

But, she ignored him. Once she was set on a leaving in a huff, it was settled, no turning back. She was reaching for the doorknob when she was surprised to find Dan's palm slam against the door, forcing it shut.

Blair squeaked as she turned to him.

Dan was far from passionless, but he wasn't one to be so physical or direct. And although she would never feel unsafe around him, for a moment she was stunned silent. Her wide eyes searched his, finding a touch of surprise in his own gaze, like he'd caught himself off guard.

"Well?" she said after they'd just been staring at each other for a while.

Dan sighed, but didn't move away. "You can't just…just do that."

"I can do whatever I please." She answered, on principle, "And, what are you even talking about?"

"You can't just bitch at me and then leave for the entire summer without saying goodbye**."**

"Goodbye," she deadpanned.

He scowled and she reached for the door again, but his arm remained firmly in place.

"Humphrey."

He ignored her. "Look, I wasn't trying to say you were a …'hussy' or anything."

She arched a brow, waiting for him to continue.

"I just, you know, you're a… " His eyes skittered about uncomfortably for a moment. "I wouldn't be surprised if guys noticed you is all."

Her eyes widened, because that honestly had been the last thing she'd expected him to say, well, ever. Not that she was complaining necessarily.

She fixed him with a pointed look. "Be careful, Humphrey. Or you might end up accidentally complimenting me."

"Oh, shame of shames."

The corners of his eyes crinkled with a touch of amusement, but his gaze was still serious.

Blair simply waited. Whatever weird relationship they'd forged, there were some rules, some patterns. Blair would never be the one to admit anything sentimental or kind first—that was Humphrey's job. So she waited for what felt like minutes, but may have only been seconds, for him to speak.

Dan sighed. "This may just be the post-finals sleep deprivation talking, but it will be, you know, weird here….without you."

She tried her damndest to stomp dead any fluttering in her chest.

"Well, obviously."

His face fell slightly and she decided to insert her invitation—as casually and coolly as she could—before the window closed.

"Well, if you weren't so averse to Virginia, I'd invite you along. But I guess writers are location snobs, so…"

Dan blinked. Then his faced slid from confusion to amusement and then back to confusion again.

"Wait a sec," he said, "Are you like, backhandedly inviting me to come with?"

"Pfft." Blair lifted her chin. "Well, 'inviting' might be a bit a strong of a word."

"Really, then what would be the word?"

"Allowing."

"Allowing, ha!"

Dan stepped away, grinning now, and while he seemed more and more relaxed, the tension was growing almost unbearably inside of her. She worried her bottom lip and stood at the door, watching him.

"Well you, you know. I did have a lot of plans." Dan sat at his desk, still facing her. "Writing, moping, self-flagellation as I fail to produce. I'd have to check my schedule."

"Don't forget plaid-wearing and Serena stalking."

Dan rolled his eyes and she knew he wouldn't take it personally. His and Serena's sporadic love affair (as she'd once coined it) had done way more fizzling than sparking in the recent months.

"Right, how could I forget? I'll have to leave myself some post-its to remember."

He scribbled on a scrap sheet of paper as if truly leaving himself a note and Blair snorted and walked back into the living room. He hadn't answered yet, or even truly addressed her invitation, but as she looked back at his smiling expression, she realized it was Dan, not Chuck—he wasn't one for games unless they were Taboo or Scrabble.

She felt the tension leave her as she perched herself atop the arm of his couch.

"Well?" she asked, "I'm not going to wait all day. And my very generous offer will not be extended forever."

"Really?" Dan said. "Does it, like expire or self-destruct like those spy notes?"

"Daniel," she said.

He chuckled, because she'd maybe referred to him as that twice in their entire relationship. But then after a moment, he shrugged.

"What the hell? Virginia could be nice."

She refused, absolutely refused, to let the rush of relief and pleasure show on her face. Her eyes and lips remained schooled with a well practice discipline.

She stood, lifted her chin, and 'hmmpfed". "We'll have to discuss some ground rules, of course."

Dan snorted. "Of course."

She walked over so that she was standing directly in front of him. "No slobbering, no mismatching, no pontificating on pointless literary principles, and most importantly, no being the socially inept Brooklynite that you generally are."

"Oh? Is that all?"

"Just getting started."

She grabbed a spare chair, sat beside him, and tried to contain her own smile as Dan leaned back and watched her with a smirk.

* * *

><p><strong>End Prologue. Feedback is greatly appreciated<strong>


	2. Escape From New York

**I am SO tremendously flattered and shocked by all the feedback I have received for this fic. Unless you are also a fic writer it may be impossible to express how much reviews are appreciated. But, hopefully it suffices to say: Thank you so much for your wonderful reviews. **

**Note: There may be some questions about the status of various relationships (e.g. Derena, Chair, Dan/Chuck, etc), but those will be addressed as the story goes on. **

**Also, for anyone who doesn't know, "Virginia is for lovers" is the state motto. **

* * *

><p><strong>1: Escape from New York <strong>

"I'm glad you decided to go, Blair," Charlotte said.

"Much to my chagrin," Blair answered with a sigh, "But, yes."

"I assure you, Dr. Wayne is one of the area's most renowned psychologists. I know you wouldn't tolerate any less."

"His name is Dr. _Wayne_?" Blair's face pinched in distaste. She had a thing about people whose last names should be their first. But she restrained herself, not commenting any further.

"Yes, Dr. Richard Wayne," Charlotte said patiently, "Among many other things, he specializes in recovery from eating disorders and even deaths of-"

"It wasn't a death," Blair said.

She'd stiffened and sounded curter than she meant to, so she tried to lower her voice as she continued. "You can't die if you weren't ever born."

Charlotte sent her a wary glance from across the room, but, after a long moment, she didn't persist. The baby was a topic they hadn't gotten into much in their sessions yet, and Blair was relieved to see that today would not be the day that changed.

"Are you bringing Serena?" Charlotte asked instead.

"No." Blair frowned for another reason this time. "Humphrey."

"Oh?"

Charlotte's brow quirked in surprise and Blair continued before she inserted any uninvited psychobabble. "He wasn't my first choice. He was really like a third string, JV squad choice."

"Of course."

Charlotte's expression remained neutral, but Blair suspected there was some skepticism hidden in her eyes.

"Well, I think it's good you'll be bringing someone along. A lot of the patients that visit Dr. Wayne over the summer bring a close friend or significant other—"

"Or a charity case from an underprivileged neighborhood like Brooklyn," Blair inserted. "Which, you know, Humphrey is."

Of course she didn't mean this and she did see Dan as a friend, but there was no need to advertise that fact. Especially not to Charlotte, who had already started making squirm-inducing observations about her and Dan's relationship.

"Of course," Charlotte said again.

She scribbled something on her notepad—an object that, despite Blair's slowly evolving trust in Charlotte, she constantly daydreamed of stealing—and then glanced back at up at Blair.

"How are you sleeping?"

Blair sighed. "Better. Sometimes I have still have dreams…"

"That's completely normal."

Blair folded her arms, hugging herself slightly. "Even after this long? I mean…I guess, I just thought….shouldn't I have moved on by now? Or, isn't there, like, some accelerated counseling I could take?"

"It's not a race, Blair. Some things never quite leave you. You just learn how to adjust to them, to cope." Charlotte leaned forward in her seat. "But, the first step for you will be…"

"Acceptance of the problem, blah blah, I get it."

"Take the summer to slow down and relax," Charlotte said, "Once you start to deal with your issues head on, I promise you, healing will be on the other side of that."

* * *

><p>She went to Humphrey's apartment. Mostly because they needed to discuss some logistics anyway, but also because, in spite of herself or not, she did find comfort in seeing him after particularly trying sessions.<p>

He had some tea waiting for her, like he'd expected her to come by, and it was thoughtful enough that Blair felt compelled to insult him only once upon greeting him. And only lightly.

"Reject," she said in the doorway.

""Your Majesty," Dan returned.

She walked past him and across the room to take a seat at the counter, where the tea was. Dan followed and took a seat beside her. "How was therapy?"

"Therapy can wait. We need to discuss how we're covering up our trip."

"Wait, what?"

Blair sighed, set her mug down, and then spoke to him as if speaking to a very small, confused child. "You know, that thing we're doing this summer? Where we pack, travel, go to a place other than here-"

"I know what a trip is, Blair," Dan interrupted, "I just meant, why would we cover it up?"

"Why _wouldn't_ we cover it up? We can't just tell people we're running off to Virginia together and not expect them to bat an eyelash."

Dan looked reluctant and was silent for a moment before saying, "I still don't think we need to be so secretive."

"Well, you know what they say, Humphrey: great minds think alike."

"But, I didn't agree with you."

"Exactly." She snapped her fingers at him. "Keep up the pace."

Dan let out a long, tired sigh, like she was slowly, but surely sucking the life-force out of him, and she answered with her own exasperated look.

"I don't understand what the problem is," said Blair, "I'm merely suggesting we concoct a basic, low-maintenance scheme to keep people from getting the wrong idea."

"And this has nothing to do with the fact that you haven't cooked up a good scheme since February?"

When Dan proceeded to send her a pointed look, like he was seeing right through her, Blair glanced away, mumbling something indecipherable.

"You are ridiculous," Dan said, "Like straight out of a cartoon ridiculous."

Blair rolled her eyes. "Please. If anyone has the personality and_ hair_ to be in a cartoon here, it's you."

"Stop insulting my hair."

(It was a familiar, weary refrain by now.)

"Stop growing it out," she countered. "I mean, that is what you're doing, right? Growing it out to spite me? This isn't like an honest to god fashion choice?"

Dan sent her a baffled look, one that she secretly enjoyed eliciting from him, and Blair had to bite back a smile. In reality, while his hair was indeed a disheveled mess of curls, it had slowly become an _endearing_ disheveled mess of curls. There was no way, of course, that Blair would ever tell him that. Her way of showing affection for something—at least in regards to Dan Humphrey—was always teasing it.

She took another swig of tea and then gestured towards his head. "It gets more and more preposterous every week."

"_You _get more and more preposterous every week."

"That may be true," she conceded, "But I still don't want everyone and their nosey little grandmothers knowing that I'm going to rehab."

Dan snorted, like he always did when he felt she was begin overdramatic—which was more often than Blair liked. "This is not rehab. You're just basically taking a vacation with a little therapy on the side."

"Of course," she said sarcastically, "Because ever since I was a little girl, touring France and Italy, I always dreamed of the day that I'd be whisked away to _Country Bumpkin_, Virginia for the summer."

"First of all, I'm not whisking you away."

"Pfft. As if you could."

"And second of all, I think it's _Chesapeake Bay_, Virginia."

"Whatever. The point is I'd like to keep this private, if you don't mind?"

Dan gave a little shrug as if conceding. "So what did you have in mind?"

"Several things. Including tying you down to the ground and giving you a haircut myself. But here are the pertinent ones."

She reached into the rather large bag that was set on the ground beside her and Dan watched with a wary gaze as she slipped out a folder. When she slapped a sheet of paper in front of him, he his eyes widened. "What, there are handouts now?"

Blair swatted his arm. "Hush."

She cleared her throat, as if preparing for a presentation and Dan regarded her with a smirk—which she ignored. "It's better not to leave under a complete shroud of mystery…"

"Hmm."

"…that will just inspire even more inquiry…"

"Is that so?"

"Stop it," she hissed again, landing another slap on his arm. "Now, where was I?"

"Section 1 A," Dan said on a sigh.

"Right. As I was saying, we can't just up and disappear. We have to leave some fake breadcrumbs behind us. So, on my part, I will be visiting some rich, classy relatives in some undisclosed European country—they insist on privacy."

"Of course," Dan deadpanned.

"And as for you-"

"Wait a second." Dan straightened in his seat as if just now awaking. "Why am I named '_Donut_' on this?"

"What?" She kept her face perfectly innocent. "We need codenames, of course. What if someone finds this?"

"If someone finds this, I'll be named 'Donut' and you'll conveniently be named 'Hepburn.'. Right," he said with an eye roll, " 'cause that's a fair shake."

"We'll negotiate code names and accents later—pay attention." She lifted two fingers and gestured between Dan's eyes and the paper, directing him. "Now, you'll be trolling about the east coast, looking for inspiration for your next novel."

"Trolling?"

She let out a long sigh and scratched out the word on her sheet. "Fine, you'll be 'finding yourself', happy?"

He mumbled as she scribbled in the phrase.

"Good, so we agree then."

"Do I have a choice?"

"Would _feeling_ like you had a choice make what's about to happen regardless better for you?

Dan leaned back in his seat and stared up at the ceiling as if asking the gods for help. Blair took that as her cue to move on and slipped her sheet and folder back into her bag. Then she clapped her hands together with a sound of satisfaction.

"Now that that's taken care of, I'm famished."

She looked at him expectantly, waiting for him naturally to offer to purchase her meal. But, Humphrey, answered her with a shake of the head.

"No. I'm not buying you dinner again. It's your turn."

"Ugh." She made an indignant noise. "I am not the kind of woman who should have to pay for her own meals on a consistent basis."

"Fine." He folded his arms across his chest. "Then you are also not the kind of woman who'll be eating tonight."

"Ah!" She let out a squeak of both of surprise, and despite herself, amusement. "Touché. Dinner can be on me this time."

Dan held out both his hands and feigned concern. "Please. Don't go beyond your means."

"And you don't act like you're not sitting on some nice coin, playing up the whole bohemian emo card for fun. Honestly, next thing I know you'll be playing hacky sack and wearing a knit cap."

Dan sent her a dry look, but then ignored her as he stood and walked across the room. Blair watched him from the kitchen counter. "And, you know," she called after him, "Most men would honored to buy me a meal."

"An honor that has been bestowed upon me many a time," Dan muttered. He was standing by a bookshelf now. "And, hey, I'm not exactly a cheap date myself."

"Apparently not," Blair mumbled, flipping through the menus.

"You could hang around," Dan said. "Watch a movie."

Blair kept her gaze on the set of menus before her, narrowing down the options. (She really wasn't in the mood for Chinese again). "I could," she agreed. " I could also fling myself from atop a tall building. There are many, many ways in which I could spend my night."

"I'll take that as a 'yes'."

"Obviously." She held up a menu. "I think we should do Italian."

Dan made some noncommittal sound and she was about to make a comment about how much worse his hair looked from behind, just for the fun of it, when her phone buzzed. She checked the number, no longer listed in her phone, and stiffened. _"Basshole."_

"Chuck's still calling you?"

She started as Dan suddenly appeared from behind her. She sighed and caught her breath. "It's nothing. He just sends me cryptic text messages every now and then. Probably to ensure that the memory of him still haunts me."

Dan folded his arms across his chest and gave her that annoying, stern-father figure look he so cherished to wear on his face. "But, you're not calling him back though?"

"Don't get your plaid boxers in a bunch. I remember our pact."

A few months ago, while partially inebriated and fresh off respective fights with Chuck and Serena, they'd vowed to break contact with them all together. It had started off as more of a joke, but solidified since then.

God, she thought, how could she not have seen all the giant, glaring BFF warning signs in front of her?

Dan's grunt interrupted her musings. "Well, if he keeps bothering you, let me know, and I'll-"

"You'll what?" Blair interjected with an arched brow, "Novel-ize him to death? I know the pen's mightier than the sword, Humphrey, but you're taking that a tad literally, don't ya think?'

He stiffened and Blair, instantly noticing his reaction, reached over and set her hand on his wrist, trying to draw his attention back to her words. "Frankly, I don't want you getting caught up in the crosshairs of Chuck's…Bassitude."

But his hand jerked away from hers and Blair frowned. "Just in case you've forgotten, I'm a grown man who can handle himself."

Her brows spiked. "And, just in case _you've _forgotten, I'm a grown woman who can handle herself."

They both looked at each other, partaking in a silent staring contest of sorts, before finally they both sighed and looked away. A stalemate, as per usual.

"Enough chatting," Blair said, moving it along. There were many reasons she begrudgingly enjoyed spending time with Dan. And drama was not one of them. "Now why doesn't the big, strong widdle boy pick out his meal so Mama can buy it for him?"

"That-that's it. I'm paying for my own food. And yours, too, for that matter."

Blair slipped her card back into her wallet with a sigh. "If you insist."

"I do. And…" He shook his head. "I just now realized what you were doing there and touché."

"Thank you. And, now that you're paying, I'll add the number two my order."

* * *

><p>When Blair awoke with the press of low quality fabric and the scent of cologne surrounding her, she realized she'd done it again: she'd fallen asleep atop Dan Humphrey.<p>

"Mmph, Humphrey,_"_ she moaned somewhere in the vicinity of his face.

He shifted from under her, forcing her to move up slowly, too, since her cheek was smashed up against his collarbone.

"Mmmph," he groaned. "S'what time is it?"

"I have no idea." She pushed up from him and rubbed at bleary eyes. "Why'd you let me fall asleep?"

"S'you looked peaceful."

"Ugh, stop being a girl."

She started slipping on her shoes, but her face was creased in concern. Had he realized she been having trouble sleeping? Or worse, did he realize that—despite the fact that she would never admit this aloud—she seemed to sleep the soundest when sprawled out on the couch with him?

She shook away the thought and moved to stand. "I have to get home. I can't keep…"

She was going to say, "spending the night", but even in her head that sounded weirder than she wanted it to, so she trailed off instead.

"I just need to get home."

"Stay. S'it's late."

His hand stroked by her shoulder in a way that it usually didn't when he was fully awake, and for one utterly insane moment she did consider staying. Which made her even more determined to leave immediately.

"I couldn't possibly suffer another night on this sofa."

"Uh," Dan eyes opened a little more, realizing she wasn't budging. "S'I'll walk to the cab."

It ended up being her having to walk him outside, as he was even less lucid than she was. Yet even still, he hailed her a cab and then waited on the curb, like some peasant knight.

When he opened the door for her, she decided to do something she, too, wouldn't normally do. "Thank you," she said and slipped into the cab.

* * *

><p>The next morning things took a turn for the worse.<p>

Someone—who she was currently vowing to dismantle—had sent a picture of Dan and her outside his apartment last night to Gossip Girl.

"Oh my god," Blair cried ,"Look at my _hair._"

"That is not is all, Miss Blair," Dorota said as she paced before her, "There is also rumor of a romantic getaway, to the South."

Dorota finally stopped moving and pointed to the left corner of the screen, where the subscript read**: '**_**Virginia is for lovers'?:**__**Queen B and Lonely Boy spotted planning hot summer vacation. **_

"_What?_ I used codenames and everything. This…" She had to take a moment she was so flustered. "This is unacceptable. We have to start doing damage control. ASAP."

Heavy knock broke into their panic and Blair squeaked.

"Dan," she whispered, "Thank goodness." She turned to Dorota. "Dorota, could you get the door, I need to slip on a robe."

"Yes, Miss Blair," Dorota said, voice shaky as she headed for the living room.

Blair headed in the opposite direction, snatched a robe from her chest, and then hurried back into the main room. "Humphrey, we have to—"

She trailed off, her eyes widening in shock as not Dan, but Chuck Bass stood in her foyer. She couldn't even remember the last time they'd spoken. It was the date she couldn't remember. The fiery, scream-fest they'd engaged in, on the other hand, was hard to forget.

Blair stiffened and instinctively tightened her robe around her waist. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"

Chuck sent her a cool smile. "I'm not here to start anything."

"We'll see about that."

He began pacing the floor slowly, with his usual calculated swagger and Blair watched him with a cautious gaze. "I just happened to be browsing the net this morning and noticed...heh," He let out a dry laugh. "You and Daniel Humphrey on Gossip Girl. "

"I know, can you believe that? " For a moment her indignation overcame the awkwardness of the situation. " What ridiculous, scandalous tripe. I mean, I don't know what was worse: my_ hair_ in that picture or the insinuation that I'm boffing random Brooklynites now."

"Oh." Chuck's eyes widened and he briefly slipped out of his unflappable demeanor. "So you two aren't-?"

"Pfft. Please."

"I should have known. You and Humphrey. And running off to Virginia, of all places."

"Oh, that…" Blair's cheeks pinked. "That might be a little less fake."

"What?"

"_Blair!_" came an angry voice at the door, "_I'm coming in!"_

Ugh, Serena, Blair thought to herself, this morning just kept getting better.

The blonde marched through the door, eyes fuming and set to argue, when her gaze suddenly flickered to Chuck. Serena looked between Blair's robe-clad form and Chuck several times before glaring back at her.

"What hell, B?" Serena asked, "Hooking up with Dan wasn't enough? Now you're having a nooner with Chuck?"

"_Excuse me?_"

Chuck stepped in, literally moving between the two of them, before the fur started flying. "It's apparently all just a big misunderstanding," he said, especially to Serena.

"Of _course_ it's a misunderstanding," Blair said, "How many times do we have to go through this with Gossip Girl blasts before we learn our lesson?"

"Let me be clear," Chuck said. "Them sleeping together was the misunderstanding. Not the trip to Virginia, that's …somehow true."

Serena's jaw dropped and Blair felt an undeniable wave of guilt, but her attention went to removing to Chuck first.

She grasped him by the elbow, not so gently escorting him to the exit. "Chuck ,look, as _lovely_ as this little reunion has been, I don't owe you any explanations."

He withdrew his arm from her grasp, but didn't put up a fight. "I'll leave. But, you should know…you could do better."

Blair bristled. "Maybe. But I could certainly do much _worse._"

She slammed the door in his face. Hard.

"Unbelievable."

"Yeah, my thoughts exactly," said Serena.

"This is not what it looks like it. It doesn't even bear a passing resemblance to what it looks like. It's—it's nothing."

"Really?" Serena arched her brows, "So you didn't tell me about the trip and then you snuck around like a ninja planning this all week because it's 'nothing?"

"You couldn't come. I had to find someone else."

"Someone else who just happened to be Dan?"

Blair huffed. "What is your deal?"

"No, what's your deal, Blair?" Serena sighed, ran a hand through her hair, as if trying to calm her self, before turning back to Blair. "Look, when you two started hanging out more and becoming attached at the hip, whatever, I let it slide. But now you're taking romantic getaways together?"

Blair threw her hands up in air. "What about Virginia keeps making people think of romance?" She rolled her eyes, "Okay, yes, I guess, Virginia's technically ' for lovers,' but me and Humphrey are not lovers. We-we're the opposite. We're Haters. Virginia is for Haters."

Serena looked far from convinced, or amused for that, matter and she set Blair with a steely look as she asked her, ""Are you sure Dan sees it that way?"

"What? Of course he does; why would you even ask that?"

"Well, it's just that I've been talking to him lately and I have my doubts."

Blair bristled. "You and Dan have been talking?"

But, Serena ignored her, moving on. "Blair, I know we've had some missteps in the past when it came to this sort of thing, but you are seriously crossing a line here. You can't take him with you."

Every muscle in Blair's body stiffened. This wasn't the first time this issue had come up between them over the last year. And most of the time, she had tried to concede or at least compromise with Serena, to consider her feelings. But Blair _Waldorf_ was not one to take orders. Ever. And, as silly as it felt to bring out the claws over Humphrey, she couldn't help it.

"Dan's my friend, Serena. A really, really good friend. And I shouldn't have to ask your permission to spend time with him." She stepped forward and said firmly, "I _won't _ask your permission to spend time with him."

For one tense moment, Serena was silent. Then she snorted and headed for the door. "I hope you and Dan have a really lovely vacation, B."

Blair flinched as the door slammed shut.

* * *

><p>By the time Dan arrived at her apartment, Blair had already changed, sent numerous indignant text messages to curious parties, and was pacing by the front door. When he finally charged through it, she was ready to pounce on him, but he beat her to the chase.<p>

"I have something to say to you."

"Well, I have something to say to _you._"

"I heard you were with Chuck today. In your apartment. "

Blair's eyes widened, momentarily shocked out of her aggravation. Was it just a slow day for Gossip Girl, she wondered, or had she pissed off the gods?

"Is he still here?" Dan asked, interrupting her thoughts.

"What?" Blair bristled. "What is wrong with you people? Do you believe everything you read on Gossip Girl?"

He folded his arms across his chest. "You still didn't answer the question."

"Fine. I'll answer your question when you answer mine: How long have you been rendezvousing with Serena?"

It was Dan's turn to look surprised. He faltered a bit. "I-I can explain that."

"Please do."

"We just…I was out and she…she called me first."

"And that's supposed to make it better? How dare you throw stones at me in your shabby, little glass house."

"It's not the same thing."

"And how's that?"

He stepped towards her and Blair, not one to back down from a confrontation, stepped toward him as well.

"Serena—as ridiculous as she may have been in the past—is not _Chuck Bass."_

He said his name like a curse word, laced with anger, and Blair's eyes widened.

"And what's that supposed to mean?"

His hands were on her shoulders before she could even get the last word out, and when he spoke, his voice was as low and edgy as he ever allowed it to get with her. "It means that he sold you for a hotel, shattered glass on you, and has generally treated you like shit whenever the mood's struck him."

Her cheeks exploded with red and she ripped his hands from her, shoving him away. She'd shared those things with him when she was vulnerable and she certainly had been under the impression that he'd never,_ ever_ bring them up again. Especially not to seemingly rub it in her face.

She spoke through her teeth. "That is so, so rich coming from Serena van der Woodsen's personal lap dog, floor mat, and insert any other little thing she may need to use and discard you as."

She watched him flinch and for a moment was filled with the raw satisfaction of an injury returned. It didn't last.

"You know what?" Dan said, "Maybe this whole trip was a bad idea."

"Pfft. Maybe it was."

She let him go. For about two steps. Then something snapped inside her and she was hurrying across the room, as fast as her heels would allow, and blocking his way to the door. She set her hands on his chest and said, "Humphrey, stop it."

Dan's face was still flushed with agitation and he wouldn't look her in the eye, but he didn't make a move to leave either.

"This is ridiculous," Blair said. "What are we even doing right now? 'Breaking up?' " She rolled her eyes and huffed. "This is exactly why we need this trip."

"_We_?"

"Oh, please, you may not be as 'certifiable 'as I am, but you're just as susceptible to this Upper East Side cancer. Think about it. Just twenty four hours ago, I was contemplative and mellow—"

Dan sent her a pointed look.

"Mellow for _me_," she corrected. "And you, you were happily churning out some train wreck of a novel. And now look at us. I actually…" She paused, holding a hand to her chest as if to brace herself, "…_fought_ over you with Serena today. Like we were on a reality t.v. show or something."

Her face twisted in disgust and Dan's eyes looked like they might pop right out of his head, but she held out her hand to stop him from interjecting. "Don't ask. The point is this whole world is toxic. And, I'm escaping from it…with or without you."

She watched him expectantly, her fingers tapping a bit anxiously against her side, before Dan finally spoke: "You do realize that you just quoted an 80's rock ballad, right?"

"Humphrey."

"Fine." He sighed. "What are you suggesting?"

"I'm suggesting we expedite this process."

She marched across the foyer, into her room, and when Dan entered after her a few seconds later, she pretended as if that fact didn't surprise or relieve her. She glanced at him and then grabbed a planner from her desk.

"What is this?" Dan asked. He seemed more relaxed now. "A code red?"

"Something like that."

Blair flipped through several pages, marking notes where necessary, before looking back up at him. "If I mobilize Dorota and the troops, I 'm sure I can be all packed by Monday….And as for you…" She scrunched her nose as she regarded his outfit. "I'm sure you can just shove your most precious plaid into a plastic bag real quick."

He rolled his eyes. "I have some things I have to get in order, but I think I can manage Monday."

"Fine. Then we're agreed?"

"If I actually have a choice this time…? Then yes."

His lips curved just slightly, not quite a smile, but enough to let her know that they were 'okay'. Or at least getting there. Even so, she grasped his arm when he headed to leave.

"Dan?"

His eyebrows quirked as he stopped and turned back to her.

"As far as anything that I may have said to you in the heat of the moment and against my _vastly_ superior judgment…it was stupid and I regret it."

It was far from the perfect apology, she knew that. But, she was 'growing' as Charlotte always said, and she hoped that it counted.

Apparently it did, because Dan leaned over and murmured, "I'm sorry, too."

His hand brushed gently against her cheek, where the scar had been, and her breath caught.

"I shouldn't have gone there," he said. "But you could do better."

She swallowed, and she wasn't even sure why, but somehow the words stung less in his mouth. Somehow they were almost…affectionate.

"Thank you," she whispered.

Then she hesitated before reaching up and running her hand through the curls of his hair. "So could you."

* * *

><p><strong>End Part 1.<strong>


	3. The Road From Perdition

**Note 1: SO sorry for the delay. I'd actually planned on getting this out over a week ago, but because of real life issues—which I'm not going to get into— things got a little derailed. Thanks so much for your patience. I know how annoying it is to wait for fic chapters, lol.**

**And, to all of you have left such generous feedback: THANK YOU! Really, I appreciate every review. It's extremely encouraging. **

**Note 2: Virginia time will **_**officially **_**begin in full-swing next chapter, for those of you who have been awaiting it. **

* * *

><p><em><strong>Part 2: The Road From Perdition <strong>_

**-**_**1 Miles**_

"Why does this feel so…formal?"

Dan's face was scrunched with confusion as Dorota set a plate in front of him at the table. Although it was just the two of them, Blair had decided to treat him to a home cooked breakfast. And while she would never deign to prepare the meal herself of course, she figured ordering Dorota to cook was the next best thing.

She set a napkin over her lap and offered a prim smile. "Because it is," she answered. "We are embarking on a new stage of life and there's nothing like a gourmet meal to symbolize that."

Dan squinted. "What does a gourmet meal have to do with a road trip to Virginia?"

"Ugh, after all these years it's like you've still learned nothing of class."

Dan opened his mouth as if to protest, but Blair cut him off. "Dorota, would you mind pouring him a glass of cranberry juice-that's is your favorite, right?"

"Well…" Dan blinked, apparently taken aback. "Yes, but-"

He was interrupted as Dorota suddenly appeared behind him and filled his glass.

"That-that's really not necessary."

"Of course it is," said Blair, "What are we? Commoners?"

Dan still looked uncomfortable (for what reason, Blair would never understand. It was like he averse to the finer things in life) and Dorota sent him a kind smile. "It's no problem, Mister Dan."

"Just 'Dan'," he said, "Please."

"So humble and thoughtful," Dorota sang.

Then, while Dan starting at his meal, she sent Blair a pointed look from across the table. Blair scowled at her. Dorota had already begun questioning her about she and Dan's relationship, but in recent weeks her meddling had escalated to an increasingly aggravating level.

"Yes, yes," Blair said, "I'd imagine it must be easy to be humble when you were born a Humphrey."

"Oh, stop it, Miss Blair."

Dorota shot her own scowl at Blair and then preceded to do what Blair could only describe as fawn over Dan.

"Such a wonderful man," Dorota said.

"Umh, thanks, I think." Dan squirmed a little. "This is really, again, too much."

"Well, you could sound a little more grateful." Blair sent him an indignant look. "I slaved over a hot stove to cook this meal for you….via Dorota, of course."

"That's a pretty big qualification." Off Blair's warning look, he continued. "And it's not that I'm not grateful, it just makes me a little uncomfortable."

"So does riding in a car without a driver make me uncomfortable. But, here we are, stretching beyond our boundaries."

She'd purposefully used the phrase he'd wielded against her during their forty five minute debate—no exaggeration—over whether to travel by car or plane. Eventually, he'd won out, but that didn't mean she was going to make it easy for him.

Dan sighed. "It's not a phantom car, Blair, I'll be driving…"

"Incompetently, I'm sure."

"And, it's a nice car. Even for your standards."

"Ha." Blair laughed outright. "You clearly have no idea how high my standards are."

Dan made a sound, if he'd beg to differ when Dorota reentered the dining room again, another plate in her hand.

"Waffles, Mister Dan?"

"Uh, thanks."

Dan watched with wide eyes as she set yet another plate of heaping food before him. "Those are my favorite."

"Well, obviously," Blair said. "What kind of sloppy establishment do you think we're running here?"

Blair looked down for a moment, concealing her small, pleased smile. She liked to pamper those she cared about, but there was no reason she had to be nice about being nice.

"Made special just for you," Dorota said with another pointed look and smile.

Dan's brows rose as he regarded her and when she finally headed back into the kitchen area, he turned to Blair. "Why does she keep looking at me like that?"

Blair took a swig of her tea and gave a casual shrug. "Besides from your catastrophe of a hair cut…" Dan rolled his eyes. "She thinks we're soul mates. Or…" Her face pinched in concentration. "…Some other ridiculous Polish phrase."

Dan coughed. "And that's not weird for you?"

He was nearly choking on his food. And when he kept coughing until he finally swallowed down some water, Blair stiffened. So he could think Georgina and Vanessa _Abrams_ were date worthy, but not her?

She sent him an icy look. "There are a lot of things that are weird for me. Including almost every outfit you decide to wear….And, how dare you act as if that would a bigger hit for your reputation than it would be for mine."

Dan was still composing himself, but he waved a conciliatory hand. "That's not even what I—"

"I mean, you're from Brooklyn, for god's sake. It's almost worse than being from a third-world country. At least then there'd be something exotic or extraordinary about your backstory."

"I get the point-"

"And how would we even raise our children?" she went on. "Me teaching them the virtues of world travel and high fashion and you instilling in them the value of sideburns and plaid-?"

"Again, point gotten."

"Not to mention, Blair _Humphrey?_ Shoot me now-"

"I_ get it, Blair._"

His voice had risen louder than he usually allowed it to, and he took a moment to settle himself, before sitting back in his seat. Petty or not, Blair felt somewhat less slighted at his agitation.

"No offense, of course, " she finally added.

"None taken," Dan deadpanned. After a moment he titled his head. "Although you were oddly specific about your insults."

"Please. Being oddly specific is part of my charm."

"Possibly." His lips quirked in the smallest smile, as if he were more amused than annoyed. "But, just for the record, it's not like you would be the easiest person to be with either."

"Of course not." Blair lifted her chin. "There's nothing 'easy' about me."

"Right, well-"

"More waffles, Mister Dan?"

Dan jumped again, speechless as Dorota, without waiting for his response, filled his plate with more food.

Blair took the moment to continue on. "And, your standards are impossibly skewed anyway. It's obvious you and Serena have this whole Romeo and Juliet thing going on, so…"

"That's a bit extreme, don't you think?" He turned back to Dorota for a moment, politely declining her offer of more food. "And, you know, they both kill themselves in the end."

Blair sent him a sugary sweet smile. "I know the ending."

He sent her a pointed scowl, which Blair ignored, before she took a bite of her food. "Now hush. Eat your protein. You have a long drive ahead of you."

* * *

><p><em><strong>O Miles<strong>_

"Please tell me I'm being Punk'd," Blair whined as they stood on the curb. "That Ashton Kutcher's going to jump out from behind the corner with our plane tickets any moment now."

Dan rolled his eyes as he set the last of Blair's luggage in the trunk. (The last of her luggage she was traveling with, of course. The remainder of her summer shoes and other accessories were being mailed there).

"Blair, you're being ridiculous."

"Well, excuse me if I don't like slumming it. I mean honestly, we're practically taking the Subway."

"A Benz is hardly the subway.

Blair made a 'meh' sound, because the car was exquisite and she did have a thing for being driven by men in expensive cars, but still—she could be sipping champagne in first class right now.

"And, it wasn't' exactly easy for me to borrow this from Lily," Dan was going on, "She had a _lot_ of questions."

"What? Why?" Blair crossed her arms. "I'm impeccable company to keep."

"Yeah, well, let's just say she found it a little weird that I wanted it to drive you cross country." He shut the trunk and his cheeks colored a little with discomfort. "And, she, well, thought I was bringing Serena at first. Which was…even more awkward."

Blair let out a long, dramatic sigh. "And the brother-sister soap opera continues."

"Hey." Dan stiffened. "We are not siblings."

"Right, just step-siblings. Otherwise it might be weird or something."

Dan's jaw set. But, then his eyes lit with challenge as he looked back at her.

"This from the woman who almost made out with a magician."

"_Hey_." It was Blair's turn to stiffen. "For the last time, I didn't _know _that when I let him buy that drink for me."

"Right, well, the close up magic pretty much cleared up any confusion."

Blair stepped forward and smacked him in the chest. And not lightly. But, she couldn't keep the smile from slipping onto her lips. Because embarrassing or not, that had been one of the most fun nights she'd had out with Dan, or anyone else, in a while.

"Just get in the car…" Dan said with a smirk. He held the door open for her and then gesticulated theatrically. "_Before it disappears_."

She smacked him by the shoulder, before rolling her eyes and getting in her seat.

* * *

><p><em><strong>8 Miles<strong>_

"Open the door."

"Blair, no, you cannot roll out of a moving car."

"Pfft. I see it in the movies all the time."

* * *

><p><em><strong>33 Miles<strong>_

Blair tapped her fingers impatiently against the dashboard. "I'm still waiting."

"For what?"

"This magical car-trip experience you keep going on and on about."

Dan let out a long sigh, like _she_ was the one being annoying and not him, and Blair rolled her eyes.

"That's just the point," he said, "You have to relax, just enjoy the ride and the scenery."

"Yes, because the turnpike is such a beautiful stretch of concrete this time of year."

"It'll get better along the way."

Blair sent him a thoroughly skeptical look, before finally sighing and leaning her head back against the headrest. Trying to escape—which she'd done several times since entering the car—had failed and obviously there was no point in trying to reason Humphrey out of his peasant-ness, so she figured that she might as well try to get some rest.

She closed her eyes for a moment and mumbled, "I'm just hoping I'll wake up and this all will be a horrible, horrible dream."

"I'll try to take that as a compliment," Dan deadpanned.

"Not you," she said, "I just mean, seriously, how did I get here? Just a few months ago, I was engaged to a Prince."

She could see Dan tense from the corner of her eyes, as he seemed to almost instinctively do whenever she mentioned Louis. (He was probably the only person on earth who elicited a more visceral reaction from him than Chuck).

His hands flexed around the steering wheel, but he kept his voice even. "Yeah, well, everyone's not always what they appear to be."

"Yes…" Blair let out a sigh, "Fairytale's over."

Her eyes fluttered shut again until she felt Dan's cool hand cover hers. And, although, in the back her mind she realized it must have been to comfort her, the sensation startled her.

"Ah!"

"Ah!" Dan cried back.

The car swerved just slightly in the lane, before Dan composed himself.

"I'm sorry," Dan said. "I just…I thought you needed-"

"First: Eyes on the road!" Blair ordered. "Second, why are your hands so cold? They feel like ice cubes."

"I'm-I'm sorry," Dan said again, clearly flustered.

"Eyes on the road!"

"Right."

* * *

><p><em><strong>80 Miles<strong>_

"So tell me more about this guy."

Blair blinked, her eyes drooping and her head moments from collapsing unto Dan's shoulder, as she registered his question. She moaned and rubbed at her face.

"What guy?" she mumbled.

"Your psychiatrist. The one with the name you can't stand."

Blair's face automatically pinched with distaste. "Right. Dr. Wayne" She straightened in her seat and scowled. "He sounds like a famer. Or like his uncle and aunt spawned him…he probably wears overalls."

She said the word "overalls" like it was a curse word and Dan shook his head.

"You shouldn't judge someone before you even meet them, Blair."

Blair rolled her eyes, because of course he'd used that lecture voice that always made her want to smack him upside the head.

"Oh, god," she moaned, "What are you going to do now? Read Bible scriptures to me?"

"I just think you should try to actually give people a chance before you condemn them."

"Really? So when you first met me, I'm sure you were full of openness and bursting with charitable words?"

She watched him with an arched brow. Serena had told her years back about Dan's first impression of her. And, while she was more amused by it than insulted, she couldn't let the opportunity to use it against him pass by.

Dan shifted in his seat, his mouth opening and closing several times before he finally answered with a sheepish expression. "I…thought you were…delightful."

"Ha!'" Blair laughed. "A delightful pain in your neck."

He didn't respond at first and kept watching her with this weird smile until Blair finally asked, "_What?_"

He chuckled. "That…might just be the best description of you I've heard."

She scoffed. The way he was looking at her she could sense that he meant this as some sort of compliment. But, having had men wait for her atop the Empire State building and shower her with gifts, she was kind of missing the flattery.

"_Okayy,"_ she finally said, rolling her eyes.

Dan just kept smirking and looked back to the road.

* * *

><p><em><strong>122 Miles <strong>_

"You ever notice how weird the clouds are?"

"Eyes on the road, Humphrey."

* * *

><p><em><strong>189 Miles <strong>_

Blair was in the middle of explaining to Dan why his socks didn't complement his outfit when the car hit a road bump and something fell from the dashboard and unto her lap.

Blair squinted and lifted the hair clip before her.

"What, are you accessorizing now?"

"What?" Dan glanced over and his cheeks pinked. "Oh…I think that's Serena's."

There was a single beat of silence, before Blair's expression shifted from confusion to horror. "Eww," she cried, "Eww. Did you guys…like _in here_?"

"No, no, calm down. It's not even like that. It-it probably just dropped out while she was…you know…"

Blair arched a lone brow and waited for him to continue. "Doing what?" she finally asked, "Quoting Faulkner? You seriously expect me to believe you two were just innocently chatting in this Mac-mobile?"

Dan snorted. 'Mac-mobile?"

"Oh, please, don't play coy with me. This is a Benz, for god's sake. It has booty call implications all over it. Even I'd be tempted."

"That's…interesting," Dan said, as if momentarily derailed by her statement. "But there was no calling of booties involved."

"You know what…?" Blair made a distasteful face and held up her hand, "I don't even want to know and it doesn't matter…Although it is informative, since now I know you couldn't keep a pact if you're middle-class life depended on it."

"It was forever ago. Lily never uses these things, they're just for show. I was probably the last person who drove it."

"Is that supposed to comfort me? That this car hasn't been disinfected since you were with Serena in here?"

Dan rolled his eyes. "We just kissed. Once. That was it. And, once again, it was forever ago."

"You have no self-control, Humphrey. "

"And you have no sense of boundaries, Waldorf."

He plucked the clip from her hand flicked it out the window.

"We good now?"

Blair gave a shrug, although the aggravation would not leave her. She glanced, frowning, about the car.

"How are you and Serena doing anyway?" Dan asked.

"Fine." She let out a long sigh and forced herself to push the previous conversation out of her mind. "We reached somewhat of a truce, but it's obvious she's still really unhappy us going on this trip."

"Yeah," Dan said.

His voice was low and full of a meaning she couldn't interpret. She looked over at him as his brow creased with concern. "Look…I'm sorry if I've….come between you two in any way."

Blair snorted. "Oh, get over yourself, Humphrey. If it weren't you, it would be some other guy or some other event or some other thing. It's just…how it is." She sent a wistful look out the window. "We'll be fine…we always are."

Her voice steeled as she glanced back at him. "But I'm not going to let her dictate who my friends are."

Dan quirked a brow and she hoped that hadn't come out as possessively as it sounded in her ears. She felt a prick of self-consciousness and tried to deflect the focus away from herself.

"Plus, I'm surprised you're not more worried about _me _getting in the way of you and Serena's star crossed love affair."

She snorted and sent him a playful look. But when Dan didn't answer, instead merely staring ahead and squirming slightly, Blair's eyes narrowed. She sat up in her seat. "Did she say something to you about me?"

Dan's sent her a wary look. "Blair-"

"_Un_believable."

He let out an exasperated sigh. "Well…aren't you talking about her with me? Right now?"

That was a good point. So she ignored it and continued glowering out the window.

"Blair."

He tried to put his hand on hers again and again she pulled away.

"Why are your hands still so cold?"

Dan sighed. "I wouldn't ever let someone like, badmouth you, if that's what you're thinking."

"No, actually, what I'm thinking is I don't want you and Serena gabbing about me period."

"First of all: I don't 'gab', okay. And, second, whether I like it or not at the moment, you and Serena are both a part of my life. What, am I supposed to do-choose sides or something?"

Her cheeks burst with color and she felt this sudden, hot agitation in her chest. She folded her arms and sent him a cross look. "Of course not. What would be the point? You'd obviously choose the blonder option."

"Don't do that."

"Don't do what?"

"Don't make me a part of whatever weird competition you two have."

Blair stiffened. She turned even more in her seat so she could face him, and he was already shooting agitated looks back at her at an accelerating rate.

"Excuse me?" she demanded.

"I mean, is that why you invited me?" His face was reddening with aggravation. "To one up Serena?"

Blair laughed outright, her eyes shooting back out the window in disbelief. But, when Dan continued to scowl at her, his face strained with irritation, her mouth hung open. How petty did he think she was?

"Let's get something straight, "she said, " What happens between you and me is about you and me, not Serena." She bristled and flipped some hair off her shoulder. "At least not on my end."

"Well…not on my end either."

"Well, good."

"Great."

"Awesome."

"Fantastic."

Their voices were still clipped, like they were still fighting, which they weren't—at least, she didn't think. Blair's face scrunched in confusion, before she finally huffed and turned from him.

Even hundreds of miles away, she couldn't escape Serena.

She pressed her cheek to the glass and muttered, "Can you please just drive faster?"

* * *

><p><em><strong>204 Miles<strong>_

By the time Dan pulled into the _Kwik and Go, _they still hadn't spoken. She stepped out of the car with him in hopes of returning some feeling to her legs, and was surprised when he came behind her, meeting her at the hood of the car.

He pulled out a Tootsie Roll Pop—her favorite guilty pleasure treat—and held it before her like a peace offering.

"Let's leave the drama behind us," Dan said.

Blair took it with a sigh.

"Is that possible? I feel like's it chasing me. And Serena's still everywhere somehow-"

"Don't' worry about Serena." Dan said. His voice was firm, but etched with concern. "I don't know why you're so threatened by her."

"I am _not_ threatened by her."

"Well, you shouldn't be."

"Well, I—"

She faltered, because she had already started speaking, trying to anticipate his next words, but they weren't what she'd been expecting.

"Oh," was all she could get out for a moment. Then finally she added. "Obviously."

"Obviously," he said sincerely.

Blair ducked her head. Partly because this was exactly the sort of conversation she made a living out of avoiding. But, also because Dan was looking at her with that annoying, puppy dog look that always made her squirm.

She was about to move away, when Dan lifted a hand near her shoulder, letting it hover uncertainly there for a moment, before finally withdrawing. Blair blinked. Ironically, that was one of the times she would have been rather okay with him touching her. But, if Dan was known for anything, it was certainly not his timing, so she supposed she shouldn't have been too surprised.

"Well, I don't know about you," Blair finally said, "But I refuse to stand here and have some _Lifetime _movie moment in the parking lot of a _Kwick and Go_."

"But, it's largest _Kwik and Go_ in the state," Dan deadpanned.

"Oh, well, in _that_ case…"

Blair trailed off with a smirk as they both headed for the store.

* * *

><p><em><strong>247 Miles<strong>_

"I don't understand."

"It's not that difficult," Dan said, "You just look at a license plate, then make a sentence using the letters."

"No, Iunderstand the rules. I just don't comprehend why anyone over the age of three would enjoying playing it."

Dan let out an exasperated sigh and Blair couldn't keep the smile from her lips. This type of bickering was definitely more her speed.

"Well, fine," Dan said, "Does her Majesty have any better ideas for passing the time?"

"Yes. Taking a plane—oh, wait, I already suggested that _over and over again._"

"But, see, what you're not getting is that if we'd taken a plane, we would have missed out on all this quality bonding time."

"Pfft."

* * *

><p><em><strong>292 MIles<strong>_

Blair punched Dan in the shoulder. "Punch buggy. No punch back."

* * *

><p><em><strong>339 Miles <strong>_

"We're almost there."

Blair moaned, her eyes slowly fluttering open. Apparently she'd actually fallen asleep this time, her head finally giving in to the peculiar lure of Dan's shoulder.

"Sorry," Blair murmured.

"S'okay," Dan said.

She sighed, too tired and relaxed to pull herself back away from him.

"My sister used to do that all the time," Dan said after a moment, "When she was little."

His voice was content, but Blair's nose scrunched. She didn't know what was worse: that he was actually comparing her to Jenny Humphrey, of all people, or that he was comparing her to a little sibling.

She shoved the thought away and readjusted against his shoulder. "Why are your shoulders so boney?" she whined.

Dan snorted. "Apparently the same reason my hands are so cold….I must be a ghost."

Blair let out a lazy yawn. "I don't think ghosts have bones."

"Maybe a phantom then—or I suppose those are the same thing?"

"I've never really been sure…" she murmured.

The windows were down. There was a breeze, but a pleasant, warm one. The view was peppering with trees and there seemed to be an endless stretch of green on either side of the road. Her cheek rested against the warm skin of his neck and while there would probably never be any true substitute for heated towels and champagne in first class, she was beginning, for a moment, to get the appeal.

Her eyes started to close again.

"Admit it," Dan said. "It's kind of nice."

"I'll admit nothing," she mumbled, before shutting her eyes and burrowing her head further into the hollow of his neck.

* * *

><p><strong>End Part Two.<strong>


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